Time flies!!!I've never experienced this feeling of powerlessly letting time passing through the very tip of my fingers, without being able to grab it, hold it back, and control it!!!
It's certainly a great Joy to mark the seventh month I've been in God and to think about the many more days, and months and years to come with Him by my side!!!Sometimes it's hard to imagine who I had been before God found me by His Grace!!!Just a normal student, a normal daughter, and a normal friend, who thought that all she would need in life is the Joy brought from making people around her happy; from stretching a smile as wide as a string across her face in all situations and pretending that things somehow would turn out to be alright. I spent all my time trying to be that person I thought I had been created to be! And I was happy, my family was happy, and my friends were happy!I didn't know how much I had been missing till the day I was caught totally amazed in God's love, and rendered utterly speechless in His Mercy!He had filled the Heart shape in my heart! When I was small, I always asked questions like: why was there mountain? who created the very first creature on Earth? why do human beings look the way they do? When I got a bit older, I truly believed that there was a God, or at least a higher authority, whose job is to arrange things the way they needed to be arranged so that people would be in the right place at the right time. I sort of acknowledged God, but never thought that He would want to establish an intimate relationship with me, so badly that He even died on the cross for all my sins (all our sins)! It never occurred to me that the very same God, who created all things, would want to be with such an absolutely normal person like me! This very fact really turns my world up side down in a way that it entirely changes how I view myself, and the world I live in! That I do matter to Him, and so does the rest of the world! That no matter what life throws at me, I will rely on God to figure the way out because to live is a gift from God and life itself is Grace (by right, I would be dead with all my sins)! That no matter how wayward I have been in my walk with God, I can always run to His embrace full of Mercy and Forgiveness! That regardless of the many times I feel wary of living up to His words, He has never grown wary of listening to me harping on about my very own problems and even of me being angry with Him or doubting Him! That although I turned away from Him when I was hurt by things I never expected Him to allow, He never told me how much more it hurt Him to see me like that, yet patiently drawing me back to Him, and wholeheartedly trusting that I would do so!Now, if anyone asks me about the God I am worshiping, I can only answer by saying: BEYOND WORDS! It is because no words can describe the transformed lives each and everyone of us will experience when we let God take the lead! And it is also because each and everyone of us will experience that life very differently! No one will go through the same divine journey as anyone else!
The deeper I grow in God, the more struggles I face. Things which used to be alright for me to do now turns out to be not that okay with God in the picture. (like gossiping about people). The more I struggle, the more I realize there is a need for humble confession of my mistakes and an active willingness to make amendment for the wrongdoings, not in an attempt to erase them, but to let them count. I do believe that wrong exists for a reason: to remind us of what it is to be right. There is always a line to cross, and in my Christian life, God has made that line more and more visible than ever. But the amazing thing is that He asks me to reach to the other side: to the lost. One of my worst fear was that some how during the course of reaching out, I would let that line shift, I would be one among the many thousand lost sheep there, and when God looked, He would not be able to recognize me!Not long before, it came simply to me that it's my responsibility to spread His words to people, but it's His Grace that leads people to cross from death to life, and lets the lost be found!
I feel deeply grateful today! For everything!
And my prayer today is really this simple: Help me become a contagious Christian! The Lord be my guide! Amen!
It's certainly a great Joy to mark the seventh month I've been in God and to think about the many more days, and months and years to come with Him by my side!!!Sometimes it's hard to imagine who I had been before God found me by His Grace!!!Just a normal student, a normal daughter, and a normal friend, who thought that all she would need in life is the Joy brought from making people around her happy; from stretching a smile as wide as a string across her face in all situations and pretending that things somehow would turn out to be alright. I spent all my time trying to be that person I thought I had been created to be! And I was happy, my family was happy, and my friends were happy!I didn't know how much I had been missing till the day I was caught totally amazed in God's love, and rendered utterly speechless in His Mercy!He had filled the Heart shape in my heart! When I was small, I always asked questions like: why was there mountain? who created the very first creature on Earth? why do human beings look the way they do? When I got a bit older, I truly believed that there was a God, or at least a higher authority, whose job is to arrange things the way they needed to be arranged so that people would be in the right place at the right time. I sort of acknowledged God, but never thought that He would want to establish an intimate relationship with me, so badly that He even died on the cross for all my sins (all our sins)! It never occurred to me that the very same God, who created all things, would want to be with such an absolutely normal person like me! This very fact really turns my world up side down in a way that it entirely changes how I view myself, and the world I live in! That I do matter to Him, and so does the rest of the world! That no matter what life throws at me, I will rely on God to figure the way out because to live is a gift from God and life itself is Grace (by right, I would be dead with all my sins)! That no matter how wayward I have been in my walk with God, I can always run to His embrace full of Mercy and Forgiveness! That regardless of the many times I feel wary of living up to His words, He has never grown wary of listening to me harping on about my very own problems and even of me being angry with Him or doubting Him! That although I turned away from Him when I was hurt by things I never expected Him to allow, He never told me how much more it hurt Him to see me like that, yet patiently drawing me back to Him, and wholeheartedly trusting that I would do so!Now, if anyone asks me about the God I am worshiping, I can only answer by saying: BEYOND WORDS! It is because no words can describe the transformed lives each and everyone of us will experience when we let God take the lead! And it is also because each and everyone of us will experience that life very differently! No one will go through the same divine journey as anyone else!
The deeper I grow in God, the more struggles I face. Things which used to be alright for me to do now turns out to be not that okay with God in the picture. (like gossiping about people). The more I struggle, the more I realize there is a need for humble confession of my mistakes and an active willingness to make amendment for the wrongdoings, not in an attempt to erase them, but to let them count. I do believe that wrong exists for a reason: to remind us of what it is to be right. There is always a line to cross, and in my Christian life, God has made that line more and more visible than ever. But the amazing thing is that He asks me to reach to the other side: to the lost. One of my worst fear was that some how during the course of reaching out, I would let that line shift, I would be one among the many thousand lost sheep there, and when God looked, He would not be able to recognize me!Not long before, it came simply to me that it's my responsibility to spread His words to people, but it's His Grace that leads people to cross from death to life, and lets the lost be found!
I feel deeply grateful today! For everything!
And my prayer today is really this simple: Help me become a contagious Christian! The Lord be my guide! Amen!
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