The moral of the story is boy loves girl and so on, but the way it unfolds is yet to be told . . .

Prettiest Friend is playing.

I realize that songs can bring you through time and space, to a certain point in your life, to a certain place.

And i am reminded that i was once, your prettiest friend.

And eternity, in the palm of Your hands

It's pouring, outside of my window. This is the best weather to curl up on my bed, read something heart - stirring and soul - touching, wander in my daydreamings, and doze off. And this is the reality: i have valuation and tourism to study!!!

There are a few random things which have popped up in my head these few days:

Why does God have to create rats? They are not beautiful/adorable/helpful at all....

For every serious relationship, no matter how bad they fight each other, there always remains that something that ignited them from the first place. It's just a matter of uncovering the many layers of anger, dissatisfaction, disappointment and hurt to find that precious sparkle. It is a search that not all dares embarking or bothers entertaining. I like what Jodi Picoult said about love: " True love is like ghosts, many have heard, yet, few have seen". Talking about Second Glance, I couldn't find it!!!! (Did you lose it Moo????)

I feel that I can hear God's voice at times. I mean I was quite sure that the inner voice within me was from God. As much as I am convicted, I am comforted. He has been speaking to me lately through books I read, through the Word, etc. And I love bus ride to school because it is the time for me to have uninterrupted conversation with God. Sometimes, our conversation is quite funny, but who says God doesn't have a sense of humor?

I read The Voice That Calls You Home this morning and i realized something about forgiveness. It comes with time. There is no instant fix for the hurt and the pain that was inflicted. Frustration doesn't work, neither does disappointment. I'm learning to forgive and i believe that God is moulding me. So here is what Andrea Raynon wrote:

"...How? As trite as it sounds, one day at a time. Slowly. Sometimes cursing, sometimes crying, sometimes laughing so hard at a memory that grief is held at bay for a moment or two. We make peace with our regrets. We try to forgive. We tell the stories over and over until the edges are polished - smooth as sea glass, tumbled through time. In the end, we remember to keep breathing. We curl ourselves in the palm of God's hand and rest, for that is where we always are anyway. Held and loved."

Yes, we are held and loved. We are known by names.

Time for valuation, again!!!!

The good news

Yes I have good news!!! That Jesus died for us to set us free and we have new lives through Him!!! :D

My second piece of good news is that one of my junior is considering becoming a believer!!!! I was totally shocked when I read her fb message to me!!! This has been the sweetest surprise God has for me in such a long time!!!! BUT BUT BUT she is facing her mum's objection. So keep her in prayer as I will.

This is so exciting!!!

Staggering path

I started reading Grace Notes yesterday. It was really a good read. Once again, I am reminded that God is so gracious and He loves us so much. A truth brought forth by Philip Yancey (and Leo Tolstoy as well): no matter how staggering our Christian paths seem to be, we are walking home. Yes, home, where God is waiting for every single soul to knock on heaven's door.

Moo is leaving for Bangkok tomorrow. Pray that God will grant him and his friends journey mercy, protection and fun time well-spent. Hope that it will be worth a treat after Brunei for jungle and boatie Moo.

I think not many people will know that we are not together anymore because I wont be going around telling them so. And my status on fb has been single for quite a long time. But just to let anyone, who is concerned, know that we broke up on good term. We are definitely still friends, how close we will be, we are not sure. We will see how it goes. For the reason of this, it is mainly my lack of joy and my sense of insecurity that prevents me from loving Moo properly (1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 kinda love). So in the mean time, I'm waiting for God to heal my soul instead of further bringing our relationship into an episode of sorrow and sadness. And we are waiting on God too because we are not sure of His will.

That's the necessary update.

And I'm sleepy. But still have one mindmap to study.

I may be doubting God and think that He is quite inconsiderate and stuff. But God is really my hope and refuge, in every season of my life.

Now, more than ever.

Remember when . . .

Look this is what I've found

"Wish that with every thought you come across, it brings you hope; with every memory you replay, it brings you happiness; and with every dream you have, it gives you courage!!! SET!!! Beautiful wishes for Barry's birthday"

Dated 19 Apr 2009

I still wish you the same. I just watched the video posted on Halinh's blog. It reminded me of us, at certain points. And even now, I'm not sure if God really wants us to be together. So officially, we are not together anymore until we are sure of God's direction. But I'm happy as your bestest friend. I know you are too!!!
Econs is so boring, but I can totally forget about it after tomorrow!!!Yayyy!!!

And I'll let you know

Dear God

Thanks for great Good Friday service!!! Thank You that Halinh enjoyed it too!!! I'm excited to lend her bible! Thank God that Moo is finally home!!! Pray for Moo to have a great time ahead chilling at home!

I know I cant do this alone. So I pray for a heart of prayer in me. I will be okay for my God is with me.

And I'll let you know then ...

Day 19 - Kiss me beneath the milky twilight Lead me out on the moonlit floor Lift your open hand Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance . . .

I really don't like studying for exam!!!! Haiz!!! Not so stressed, just boring!!! hahaha!!!
You are coming back REALLLLL soon!!!!
And i'm glad that Halinh is coming for Good Friday service tomorrow with me!!!!!! Yayyy!!!
That's all for a break!!!!

See you soon Moo!!!

p/s: ... Silver moon's sparkling So kiss me ...

Day 18 - Someone like you

"This is a tricky paragraph, but i think it pretty much sums up my impression of you. I think no one in the world deserves to marry you, unless the person knows ans he is absolutely sure that he is the happiest person in the entire world, a joy unrivalled and incomparable. And even though (and hopefully not) that joy may diminish very slightly over time, for that one moment, he should know how lucky he is, something which neither years nor words can describe, to be with someone like you. He should know it is the ultimate form of fulfillment, undeniable, pure and yes, perfect. I do wish every marriage in the world is like that. Brilliance doesn's start with B anymore, may I call you a beacon of brilliance?"

I count myself lucky, instead.

Day 17 - Turning 20 is a piece of cake!!!

HEY HEYYYYY MOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
You are 20 year old!!!!!!!!!! But you dont look 20, you look 17!!!! Are you happyyyyy????
I prayed for you just now!!!! And dont worry, I'm not that sad!!! I just wished that I could have been a little bit more patient!!! I felt that you were very poor thing!!!! I kinda understand why you feel so irritated and stuff!!! After all, IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!!! You deserve something special, not just hanging around aimlessly doing nothing in the jungle!!!! So I pray that God will surprise with that special something even in the "wilderness"!!!
Talking to you yesterday was very nice!!! And yup, no matter what, I really really love you ttm!!!!
Enjoy your birthday and God's best be yourssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (do i sound like Pastor Lim???)

Love,

Moo

Day 16 - What do i have, if i don't have you Jesus?

Hi Mooey!!!
I realize that even though your flight is pushed back by one day, you are STILL faster than exams!!! That is in itself, so much a blessing for me!!!
Chop left for UK this evening.
Jess is leaving in a few days.
And you are coming back real soon!!!
Although I told you on the phone about it, I still want to write it down here. YOU ARE A PRAYING WARRIOR MOO!!!! And I have so much to learn from you about prayer life!!! I really want God to be my pilot, not my co-pilot!!!
As I was preparing the worship materials for my Gen 12 prayer meeting this Wed, I felt REALLY overwhelmed by God's presence! The songs God spoke to me were Lord of the sunshine, For you alone and I will sing! I realize that there are many things that are going on in my life and in others' lives which I dont seem to understand, there are pain and sufferings on this Earth that I cant explain. But our God is the Lord of everything, He is the Lord of the sunshine and the rain, of the good times and the pain. I remember a verse from Matthew saying something like " He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rains on the righteous and the unrighteous". Yes, everything has a season and a reason for it all. But even in my darkest hour, through the sorrow and the pain, as a believer, I am to sing praises to God because I believe in His words and His promises, and trust in His unfailing love and amazing grace. Just simply bringing myself before God and allowing His presence to touch the deepest layer of my heart, and the furthest corner of my soul makes me cry. I suddenly understood with all my heart and my mind what it meant to put God first. It is to realize that to know God and to be able to walk with Him till the day we can see His face is the greatest blessing of all. It is indeed for God alone deserves our everything.
Calling Moo in a few minutes!!!

Love,
Moo

Day 12 - If I open my heart, can I go there with you?

Hihihi the MOOOO!!!!

You are out of your BOAT tomorrow!!! I can talk to you already!!!! Yayyyyy!!!!

Guess what!!! I studied in school from 10am to 9pm today with Halinh!!! How efficient!!!! Halinh uses colorful paper for her note, reminding me of JC days!!! She was trying to show me that every piece of paper had a dot at the exact same spot and she thought it was freaky!!! So funny right!!! She always finds out this kind of random things and get freaked out!! Oh and she said she has been kinda poisoned with Taylor Swift's music nowadaysss!!!! Well, at least she knows that it is poisonous!! hahaha

Anyway, a part of the song we sang yesterday has popped up in my head and stayed there since this morning!!!

Praying for Joey, who is so stressed with her readings and coming examssss!!!!

Can't wait to talk to youuuuu!!!!!

Love,

Moo

Day 11 - Cry in my heart

Hi boatie Mooooo,

Actually are you on boat today??? I hope you are resting!!!! I prayed that you would not get sunburnt and not fall sick kkk!!! BE A STRONG MOOO!!!! The highlight of my day was meeting Jess for J333. After that, we went to eat Mr Bean icecream and bean curd and talked for quite a while about STUFF!!! I LOVE IT!!! But I'm so sleepy nowwww!!!!

Love,

Moo

p/s: the title of the post is one of the songs we sang today at J333!!!

Day 10 - Oh why do you have to be so cute? It's impossible to ignore you ...

Hi boatie Moo!!!!

GOSHHHH

I have been slacking!!! Stalking people on fb, thinking about you and MISSING youuuuuuuu!!!! It was really nice to receive your sms!!! It is such a sweet surprise!!!! YOU ARE MY CUTEST FRIEND!!!! I replied your friend and asked him to say HI to you for me!!! (Did he do that????) But when the sms came, I had this gut feeling that it was yours!!!! AND IT WAS YOURSSSSS!!!! really made my day!!!! Yayyyy!!!! I saved it in a separate folder and re-read when I miss you!!!!

I have no school on Wed and Thu but I'm coming to school to study!!! FLAG POLE in the morning tomorrow with Crusaders!!! Phoebe is gonna give me wake up calll!!!!

Praying for Janice and her trip!!!

Time to study!!!!

Love,

Moo

p/s: oh ooohh, J333 with Jessss tomorrow!!!!

Day 9 - Happy birthday to me

Helloooo the Mooooo,

It is raining now and i hope it's not in Brunei. Prayed that boat moo is safe from rain and shine!!! I went to Raja Block to study with Jess today! Erm we didnt really study,but we ate a lot!!! hahahha!!!! It was just so very nice chit chatting and eating with Jess!!! Guess what!!!! A part of her tooth came out under the force of honeydew!!!! We laughed so hardddd!!! Well it is just JESS!!! And when we were eating, there was a super BOLD cat attempting to steal our food!!! He (the cat is too bold for a female!!!) kept jumping on the table, and he succeeded!!! He drank a bit of Jess's noodle soup!!! Jess kept pushing the cat away, and the cat rebel against her!!! hahha!!! Oh and Jess gave me a bookmark on my spiritual birthday!!!! Yayyyy!!!!

I cant imagine that 3 years have passed since the day I first received Christ!!! God has been really faithful, sometimes I dont realize that very fact in the midst of my situation, but upon hindsight, YES!!! He has been really really good to me by surrounding me with my DG, my NUSCC, my accountability group, our cell, our friends like Jess, and you too heheh!!! (you are in a category by yourself!!!) He also opened my eyes to see beyond my immediate comfort zone, so that I can find opportunities to reach out to and pray for people!!!! God has been wonderful!!! Actually always He is!!!! I feel very thankful for the things God has arranged for me these 3 years and for His love and grace!!!! It is exciting, indeed, to walk with God!!!!

Oh I forgot to share with you yesterday that service on Sunday spoke a few things to me. Service was about being on higher moral ground for God, that way we will always defeat Satan. Pastor talked about when we reached out to others in love, and they rejected us, they would be fighting agaisnt God ,not us. I feel that certain times, I was fighting agaisnt God in our relationship. I mean I could tell that you were really trying your best to relate to me in a very Christ like manner at those times, yet I couldnt let go of my stubborness and my pride or whatsoever that the devil blinded me with!!! Also, pastor told us about this example of this lady encouraged her husband and took a few step backs to create opportunities for her husband to grow into a great leader for God. Knowing that you would like to receive words of encouragement, I think I can do a better job in encouraging you and stuff!! I didnt really mean to discourage you but sometimes I was just tired or frustrated over everything, or anything at all!!!

Talking about this makes me miss you!!!! But i can see time flying !!!!

Take care boat Moo!!!!

Love,

Moo

Day 7 - Life is wonderful

Hiiiiiiii Mooooooooo,

Come out of the jungle quick so that i can talk to you!!! TOMORROW!!!!! Pray that there is no delay!!!!

Today was so so so fun, met Chop and Halinh!!!! Gosh!!!! For so very long, I never spent time just chit chating with my good friends!!!! It felt so great!!!! Love the two of them!!!! Halinh started to feel that Taylor Swift was not so bad and she was singing Taylor Swift's song every now then!!! Well, it doesn't make me like her any better!!! Actually, objectively speaking, I would dislike her less if you like her less!!! It seems pretty subjective now!!!!!

Oh and I bumped into Benji at Ion!!! Actually i was walking then he purposedly came blocking my way (cos he saw me first)!!!! I thought he went dating hahahha, but he was going for a birthday party!!!! Disappointed me!!!!

And I am going to see my pre-school kids tomorrow!!!

It's gonna be a lovely sunday tomorrow!!!

But I dont now if I should go to school after my church meeting to study with Joey, Gabriel and Jasmine tomorrow!!! IT'S FAR!!!! How now brown cow????

I will think about it in my sleep!!! yayyyy!!!!

Talk to you real soon!!!

Love,

Moo

P/s: I have not been doing moo cell these few days!!! But I am reading 2 Kingsssss!!!!

Day 6 - Knocking on Heaven's door

Hiiii Moo,

Today I woke up a bit late, so I was late for lecture (my 8am lecture)!!! But the speaker was so so boring, he was just reading out from the slides, literally, no exxageration. So I felt wasted, I could have slept a bit longer at home!!! ahaha

Though I was a bit rush in the morning, I was still determined to wear the dress which I prepared yesterday night!!! And my friends (Crusade friends and cell people) said that I looked pretty!!! Yayyyy!!!! Well, its not like I like to be praised but just being a girl, being complemented as pretty definitely makes my day!!!! But in a way, God is encouraging me and speaking to my pretty low confidence these days too!!!

So how are you? Time indeed pasts really fast!!! I really hope that you are enjoying your jungle trip!!! Every time I miss you randomly during the day, I pray to God! Simply committing you into His hands makes me feel so relieved and comforted. Somehow, I feel that you can hear my prayer too; it is like God, you and I are on a conference call!!!!

By the way today cell is very nice. It was not at Gabriel's house but at the karaoke room in his condo, we never sang k though!!! Cell was about truths about heaven. Basically, it said that as believers (be it from OT or NT), we will definitely be saved and go to heaven to rejoice with God and the angels (sadly as non-believers, they will definitely go to hell, where they are separated from God for eternity). But as we past the gate of heaven, we will be sitting on a chair and the things that we have done/accumulated on earth will be put into the test. Things which dont matter will be destroyed, and things which truly matter will last and be rewarded!!!! So the main learning point I get is we are safe and secure as Christians, heaven is our eternal home, we must prioritize reaching out to non-Christian friends and families because we dont want them to be tortured in hell, and the world may not acknowledge and reward a Christlike life/person but God will. Such a fruitful and insightful lesson!!!!And it is also said in the bible that everyone will be spouseless in heaven!!! So well....in heaven, we will still be friends, but close ones!!!! hahahaha!

Pray that you are a strong Moo!!!!

Take care and sleep tight!!!!

Love,

Moo

Day 5 - You're always there, you're everywhere, but right now I wish you were here

Dearest Moo,

I skipped yesterday entry, I was just too tired after a superduper long day in school. So today is day 5. It is not really fast, but not that slow either. This afternoon before I left the house, I opened the window, and I realized that the leaves of the tree right outside the window turned yellow. The rest of the trees still had their leaves green. It was interesting and I spent a moment staring at the yellow leaves and thinking about their transitions, from green to yellow. It kinda resembles the transition into old age. The only difference is that the leaves get to change every season, but we only get to grow old once. Yet, we grow older all the times!!! hahaha!!!

Today I also realize that Fat Boy is a very nice friend. He always wait for me to board the bus first then he will walk back to his hall. Well, it is not the first time it happens, but today I feel especially touched!!! He will be going Bangkok too, once our exam ends! May be I should tell him the Bangkok joke!!!

And I saw your fb message!!! I like it a lot!!! When I was waiting for 157 just now at Hwa Chong, I saw lots of leaves falling down (leaves again!!!). It was when I felt a little bit queezy, and I knew that I was missing you!!! But God reminded me of your fb message, you said when I felt sad or lonely, remember that God and you loved me!!! And the thought a lone comforted me a lot!!! I really thank God for you!!! Pray that jungle moo is having fun reading books and bible!!! 1 Samuel and the subsequent chapters are very nice to read and there are many lessons as well! I was very sad when I read about the friendship of David and Jonathan! You read and you will know why!!!

I cant wait for this weekend and next week!!! I realize exams are just around the corner!!! But you are faster than exams!!!!

Missing and praying for you!!!!

Love,

Moo

p/s: today i signed up for grace retreat online. I will be rooming with Sher. Somehow, in the confirmation slip, i turned out to be a male!!! hahahah

Day 3 - I'd come for you, but only if you told me to

Hi Moo,

I had such a long long day! Thank God I am at home now, not really chillaxing because there is still work to do!!! Yesterday, I couldn't sleep again! I went to bed at like 1130 because this morning I had early tutorial, but I lied down for about 20 minutes, finally concluding that my mind was too awake for any lullaby! Counting sheep didn't help either! So I woke up to do work!!! I think I catch the Joey's syndrome (She is addicted to sleeping late, at 12, she will tell herself that she still can do more work. She then ends up stretching herself until 2 or 3 in the morning!!!). Anyway, as I was editing my report, I bumped into Tham online!!! We had a great great catching up, talking about simple things!!! I miss him too!!! There was a time we did lots of things together, most of them were dumb! There was a time when I gave him wake up call every Sunday morning for church, and somehow we were always late! There was a time when I felt so sad when he gave me a cold shoulder! There was a time he told me he realized after all I was the friend who had stood by him all this while! Yes times after times ... I thank God for the conversation we had, and for the wonderful friendship that has crossed my path!

I had my first meeting for program com for Crusade FOC today!!! SO EXCITING!!! The theme this year is IGNYTE: ignite your passion for God, and for His peple!!!! We will be in charge of planning games, special programs and devotions!!! YAYYYY!!!! Pray for Creativity overflowing our com members!!!!

I felt very assured and comforted to know that God is really with you and you enjoy His presence so much!!! The distance, the sense of loneliness every now and then, the habit of clicking on your name in my contact list, the wish to share with you about my day; all just reminds me that you mean a lot to me, more than you could ever know, and more than I could ever imagine.

These few days, I have been waking up, missing you. . .

Talking to you soon!!!!

Love,

Moo

p/s: Today during my discussion for the program com, I felt that I was a bit too fierce .. Well, not exactly, a bit too straightforward may be??? Basically, I felt that I could have done a better job in considering other opinions!!! Yup!!!! That's is the perfect way to put it!!!

Day 2 - Friendship never ends

Hello the Moo,

Sher cancelled her bday party cos she is too busy!!!! But still HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHER!!! Pray that God will help you juggle between study, dance and CC!!!

I'm seeing my projects coming to the end! Seriously, I cant wait!!! After I say goodbye to all the projects, it's time for catching up with people!!! Will be meeting Chop for lunch, HaLinh for haircut (she is really going for BANG BANG BANG), and Jess for studying at Raja and J333!!! I really miss spending time with Jess, talking about stuff, disturbing her, enjoying her lameness and most of all, the fellowship of our sisterhood in Christ!!! Yayyy!!! Seems like April is passing at the speed of light!!!

It's always heartwarming to receive your sms!!! I laughed so hard when you told me that you were sad about Cat being butt-torn!!! I mean, Cat becomes so real and so cute!!! haha!!! He has a hole in his heart, and a bigger hole in his butt!!!!

I'm very glad that Dawn is moving on with her life, despite departing her relationship. I really believe that God has a special plan for her!!! Cant wait to see her in July as well!!! It also got me thinking about us. When the time comes, God will reveal to us about His will more explicitly. For now, I really pray that God gives us Christ-like love so that no matter what, we know that we have loved each other, and loved each other well, till the very end...

Moo cell in 15 minutes!!! EXCITING!!!!!!

Love,

Moo

Day 1 - Just a little more love, it's all it takes to live a dream

Hello Moo!!!!

Bounce kids was great fun!!! It would have been so much more fun if you had been here, bouncing with me!!! Tris and Merilynn asked about you!!! Joesh and Elisha wore b-baller shirts, swinging around. Joesh was very naughty; he bombed me with balls!!! Ryan was as good and smart as ever; he chased other kids away so that Rachel could play with the swing!!! I took care of Jaelyn because unlike other 3-year-old kids, none of her parents were with her. Emmanuel and Jaelyn held hands and wawawa and each other!!! They all were very excited on the way there, and dozing off on the way back!!! Emmanuel dozed off, munching his bread!!! I helped this girl ( about 5 years old) go down the tunnel-like slide; she was very scared at first but after I talked to her, promising her that it would be very fun and I would be right behind her, she finally slided down!!! And she was so happy, wanting to slide again. At the end, I realized that she was not one of our kids!! Haha, still, I was glad that she overcame her fear!!!

I slept like a pig after I reached home!!! A bit worried that you would feel lonely!!! And somehow, when you told me that you were scared that you would not be able to talk to some other medics, I felt you were very poor thing! I felt that I had never really loved you enough, especially the few days before you flew off!!!! But I really trust that God will be your all in all!!!

Calling you in one minute time!!! Yayyy!!!!

Love,

Moo